I’m making my way through Missing in America: Making an Eternal Difference in the World Next Door by Tom Clegg and Warren Bird. The second chapter is titled Admitting Your Fear as Your Biggest Problem, relating to the fears we Christ followers have in our attempts to engage people in our culture. On page 38 they list Five Fears Frequently Faced with Relational Solutions to each fear.
When we experience the fears below, here are some relationally rich ways we might reply to our friends that will minimize our own fears in the process:
FEAR OF REJECTION: I don’t want my friends to turn against me when I talk about the need for a relationship with God.
RELATIONAL SOLUTION: Are my words about God so personal that they put a strain on our relationship?
FEAR OF IGNORANCE: I don’t want to look dumb, not having answers to their questions.
RELATIONAL SOLUTION: “That’s a great question and I haven’t got a clue! God brought you into my life to help sharpen my understanding, and I can’t wait to find the answer!”
FEAR OF OFFENDING: I don’t want to hurt a friend.
RELATIONAL SOLUTION: “Am I being too pushy? Going too fast? Tell me if I do that!”
FEAR OF TRANSPARENCY: “I don’t want people to turn away from God because they see my flaws.
RELATIONAL SOLUTION: ”I’m really not perfect or even close, but I know the one who is.”
FEAR OF STARTING WHAT I CAN’T FINISH: I don’t want to blow it because I don’t know what to do next.
RELATIONAL SOLUTION: :”Together you and I are going to learn to be more like Jesus!”
Can I borrow that book when you’re done? I know fear is one of my biggest problems. I like that it doesn’t just tell me what I know, but gives solutions that are meaningful.